I am pretty sure you know the feeling when you wake up around noon, after a few ill fever-sweaty nights and finally feel better. Maybe you are not often sick and after three days in bed is everything in pain and suddenly you think, today… today it could work!

Analysis - compost versus new flowers?

Today is the day - I analyze everything, evaluate it and decide what to do next. Imagine you have a flower at home. When you bought it was beautiful and full of colorful flowers. Something like an orchid, pretty easy to take care of. It kept you company for a long time, if one day she begins to suffer. You don’t know much about flowers so you just try to take care of it. It also has those interesting airy roots, so it absorbs the moisture from air itself, pretty cool! And then… after a year or so, you take a closer look at it and wonder if it’s its time to compost or if there’s still hope that she’ll bloom someday?

And at that moment, my beloved Little Prince comes to my mind:

“But eyes are blind. You have to look with the heart.”

… and I know, I have to keep going, just figure out how. My blog is like my flower or longtime unused muscles. The funny thing is: both need regular care. It makes no sense to water the flower with hundreds of liters of water once a year and the rest just let it dry. Or running a marathon, almost dying there, and then couching for the rest of the year.

What were the reasons for not to write?

1. Lack of time

Aaaah, good excuse, because if I really face the truth, there was a lot of free time that I could devote to the blog. So laziness? Or disorganization?

2. Not the right themes It was probably not a good decision that the blog should mainly talk around my IT journey. That’s when the “impostor syndrome” comes to my mind. You simply don’t know the new topics well enough. Honestly I have already experienced this feeling many times, but I have never had to overcome such a problem in my brain. Probably because IT is in my head just 0 or 1. It simply works or not. It’s not like cooking where you can season it as you go. It’s like freaking baking.

A little info here ans maybe I’ll talk more about that later, because I see a lot of people struggling with this:

• https://flaviocopes.com/imposter-syndrome/
• https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hochstapler-Syndrom

3. Difficulty to concentrate

This is definitely one of the main reasons for me personally. When I’m stressed and don’t have time for myself, my creativity just freezes. I don’t paint, I don’t sing, I don’t play the guitar, I don’t write. Has anyone similar problem? What are you doing about it?

I could definitely philosophize here for a long time, but that’s boring. So…

What’s next?

Every time I want something deeply in my heart, I need some goals/ideas/schedule. Here they are:

• posting 2-4 monthly
• getting the “imaginary critic” out of my head, so yes, don’t expect perfection, but maximum authenticity
• I’m starting to write about everything that interests me, not just IT

Topics that may come up:

1. Sport - running, Spartan, weight training, hiking in the mountains, via ferrata, bike, any other crazy staff
2. Bullet Journal - a brilliant notebook that keeps me company second year already
3. Maybe a recipe now and then
4. Reviews from my IT studies
5. Some IT tips about Linux, Open Source, Lifehacks
6. … and maybe come a magician as well!

• the critic thrown out of the head and balcony

Write me in the comments what interests you the most!